Pro\u010d intimn\u00ed vztahy selh\u00e1vaj\u00ed a jak je nev\u011bdom\u011b sabotujeme, to jsou zcela nej\u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed ot\u00e1zky, kter\u00e9 s p\u00e1ry \u0159e\u0161\u00edm b\u011bhem p\u00e1rov\u00fdch terapi\u00ed, ale i zcela b\u011b\u017en\u011b mezi m\u00fdmi p\u0159\u00e1teli a zn\u00e1m\u00fdmi. A tak se dnes relativn\u011b ve zkratce pod\u00edv\u00e1me na to s \u010d\u00edm se nej\u010dast\u011bji setk\u00e1v\u00e1m ve sv\u00e9 praxi, t\u0159eba se v tom najdete a pom\u016f\u017ee V\u00e1m to pochopit, kde sami sob\u011b sabotujete to, po \u010dem ve skute\u010dnosti tou\u017e\u00edte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Intimn\u00ed vztah je nejk\u0159eh\u010d\u00ed a z\u00e1rove\u0148 nejv\u00edce obohacuj\u00edc\u00ed prostor, kter\u00fd v \u017eivot\u011b m\u00e1me. P\u0159esto se st\u00e1v\u00e1, \u017ee i ti, kte\u0159\u00ed se hluboce miluj\u00ed, si nerozum\u00ed, zra\u0148uj\u00ed se a postupn\u011b se odcizuj\u00ed. Ne proto, \u017ee by l\u00e1ska nutn\u011b zmizela, ale proto\u017ee do vztahu vstupuj\u00ed na\u0161e nev\u011bdom\u00e9 vzorce, nezpracovan\u00e1 zran\u011bn\u00ed a nevysloven\u00e9 pot\u0159eby. V\u0161echny nev\u011bdom\u00e9 obsahy na\u0161\u00ed psych\u00e9, kter\u00e9 n\u00e1m br\u00e1n\u00ed \u017e\u00edt smyslupln\u00e9 a skute\u010dn\u011b napl\u0148uj\u00edc\u00ed a zdrav\u00e9 vztahy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pro\u010d si ve vztaz\u00edch nerozum\u00edme?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Rozd\u00edln\u00fd jazyk l\u00e1sky \u2013 mu\u017e i \u017eena \u010dasto vyjad\u0159uj\u00ed l\u00e1sku jinak (jeden \u010diny, druh\u00fd slovy, t\u0159et\u00ed dotekem, \u010dtvrt\u00fd d\u00e1rky). Kdy\u017e nerozum\u00edme \u0159e\u010di partnera, m\u00e1me pocit, \u017ee l\u00e1ska chyb\u00ed. 3. Potla\u010den\u00e9 emoce \u2013 m\u00edsto otev\u0159en\u00e9 komunikace za\u010dneme hromadit nevy\u0159\u010den\u00e9 bolesti. Ty pak vybuchuj\u00ed ve form\u011b h\u00e1dek, pasivn\u00ed agrese nebo \u00fapln\u00e9ho odpojen\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Strach z intimity \u2013 paradoxn\u011b se mnoz\u00ed boj\u00edme opravdov\u00e9 bl\u00edzkosti. P\u0159ibl\u00ed\u017een\u00ed m\u016f\u017ee vyvolat star\u00e9 r\u00e1ny (strach z odm\u00edtnut\u00ed, zrady, opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed). Proto rad\u011bji dr\u017e\u00edme odstup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. \u00daniky a kompenzace \u2013 pr\u00e1ci, mobil, porno, alkohol nebo jin\u00e9 z\u00e1vislosti pou\u017e\u00edv\u00e1me jako \u00fanik od nepohodl\u00ed, m\u00edsto abychom v bl\u00edzkosti hledali uzdraven\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nej\u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed chyby mu\u017e\u016f v\u016f\u010di \u017een\u00e1m:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Nedostatek pozornosti a p\u0159\u00edtomnosti<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u017deny tou\u017e\u00ed po mu\u017eov\u011b pln\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edtomnosti \u2013 po jeho o\u010d\u00edch, naslouch\u00e1n\u00ed, jemn\u00e9m doteku. Mu\u017ei v\u0161ak \u010dasto zam\u011b\u0148uj\u00ed p\u00e9\u010di o vztah za materi\u00e1ln\u00ed zaji\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed a unikaj\u00ed do pr\u00e1ce \u010di aktivit, \u010d\u00edm\u017e \u017eena c\u00edt\u00ed emocion\u00e1ln\u00ed pr\u00e1zdno.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Redukce vztahu na sex<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kdy\u017e mu\u017e ch\u00e1pe intimitu jen jako fyzick\u00fd akt, \u017eena se c\u00edt\u00ed vyu\u017eit\u00e1, nevid\u011bn\u00e1 ve sv\u00e9 hloubce. Skute\u010dn\u00e1 intimita za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 v citov\u00e9m propojen\u00ed, nikoli a\u017e v lo\u017enici. S t\u00edm souvis\u00ed \u010dasto velk\u00e1 ne\u00facta ze strany mu\u017e\u016f v\u016f\u010di \u017een\u00e1m, kter\u00e1 je nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed p\u0159\u00ed\u010dinou odm\u00edt\u00e1n\u00ed sexu a intimity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Neschopnost sd\u00edlet emoce<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mnoho mu\u017e\u016f bylo nau\u010deno, \u017ee projevy zranitelnosti jsou slabost. Ve vztahu to ale vede k tomu, \u017ee \u017eena se c\u00edt\u00ed sama se sv\u00fdmi emocemi a mu\u017e se uzav\u00edr\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Kontrola a dominance<\/p>\n\n\n\n N\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed mu\u017ei z nejistoty nebo strachu cht\u011bj\u00ed partnerku \u0159\u00eddit, ur\u010dovat, co m\u00e1 d\u011blat, jak se chovat, s k\u00fdm b\u00fdt. To vztah dus\u00ed a v \u017een\u011b probouz\u00ed vzdor nebo \u00fanik.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Nev\u011bra a hled\u00e1n\u00ed \u00faniku<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kdy\u017e mu\u017e neum\u00ed \u010delit vlastn\u00ed nespokojenosti nebo frustraci, hled\u00e1 rozpt\u00fdlen\u00ed jinde. \u010casto nejde o sex, ale o potvrzen\u00ed vlastn\u00ed hodnoty. N\u00e1sledkem je ale hlubok\u00e1 zrada d\u016fv\u011bry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nej\u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed chyby \u017een v\u016f\u010di mu\u017e\u016fm:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Nadm\u011brn\u00e1 kritika a tlak<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mnoho \u017een m\u00e1 tendenci mu\u017ee \u201ep\u0159ed\u011bl\u00e1vat\u201c, opravovat, kritizovat. To mu\u017ee oslabuje a ni\u010d\u00ed jeho p\u0159irozenou mu\u017eskou energii. Mu\u017e se pak stahuje, rezignuje nebo vzdaluje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Ztr\u00e1ta jemnosti a \u017eensk\u00e9 energie<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ve snaze obst\u00e1t v dne\u0161n\u00edm sv\u011bt\u011b p\u0159eb\u00edraj\u00ed \u017eeny tvrdost a kontrolu. Ve vztahu pak ale mu\u017e nec\u00edt\u00ed jemnou, l\u00e1skyplnou \u017eenskou energii, po kter\u00e9 v hloubi tou\u017e\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Pasivn\u00ed agrese a nevy\u0159\u010den\u00e9 pot\u0159eby<\/p>\n\n\n\n M\u00edsto aby \u017eena jasn\u011b \u0159ekla, co pot\u0159ebuje, o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1, \u017ee to mu\u017e uhodne. Kdy\u017e se tak nestane, trest\u00e1 ho ml\u010den\u00edm, chladnost\u00ed \u010di odm\u00edt\u00e1n\u00edm intimity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Idealizace vztahu<\/p>\n\n\n\n N\u011bkter\u00e9 \u017eeny kladou na mu\u017ee nere\u00e1ln\u00e9 n\u00e1roky \u2013 aby byl partner, milenec, ochr\u00e1nce, nejlep\u0161\u00ed p\u0159\u00edtel, terapeut i duchovn\u00ed pr\u016fvodce. Kdy\u017e mu\u017e sel\u017ee, p\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed zklam\u00e1n\u00ed a pocit, \u017ee \u201enen\u00ed dost\u201c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Nev\u011bdom\u00e9 zra\u0148ov\u00e1n\u00ed mu\u017ee v jeho sexualit\u011b<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pokud \u017eena odm\u00edt\u00e1 mu\u017ee dlouhodob\u011b, sni\u017euje jeho sebev\u011bdom\u00ed. Nebo kdy\u017e pou\u017e\u00edv\u00e1 sex jako n\u00e1stroj manipulace (\u201ened\u00e1m ti, dokud\u2026\u201c), podkop\u00e1v\u00e1 d\u016fv\u011bru a intimitu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jak si vz\u00e1jemn\u011b vztahy sabotujeme?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Neschopnost\u00ed odpustit \u2013 zra\u0148ujeme se znovu a znovu t\u00edm, \u017ee dr\u017e\u00edme star\u00e9 k\u0159ivdy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Srovn\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00edm \u2013 s minul\u00fdmi partnery, s p\u0159edstavou ide\u00e1ln\u00edho vztahu, s t\u00edm, co maj\u00ed ostatn\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00daniky do technologi\u00ed a povinnost\u00ed \u2013 m\u00edsto abychom byli spolu, jsme ka\u017ed\u00fd \u201ejinde\u201c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Strachem \u0159\u00edct pravdu \u2013 proto\u017ee se boj\u00edme konfliktu, rad\u011bji ml\u010d\u00edme. Ale ml\u010den\u00ed je pomal\u00e1 eroze vztahu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Cesta ven: v\u011bdom\u00e9 partnerstv\u00ed<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Otev\u0159en\u00e1 komunikace \u2013 bez obvi\u0148ov\u00e1n\u00ed, v jazyce \u201ej\u00e1 c\u00edt\u00edm\u2026\u201c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Vz\u00e1jemn\u00e1 \u00facta \u2013 mu\u017e naslouch\u00e1 \u017een\u011b a jej\u00ed citovosti, \u017eena podporuje mu\u017ee v jeho s\u00edle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pravideln\u00fd \u010das pro intimitu \u2013 nejen sexu\u00e1ln\u00ed, ale i citovou: pov\u00edd\u00e1n\u00ed, sd\u00edlen\u00ed, doteky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pr\u00e1ce na sob\u011b \u2013 m\u00edsto snahy m\u011bnit partnera za\u010d\u00edt u sebe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tantrick\u00fd pohled \u2013 vztah nen\u00ed o \u201ebr\u00e1t a d\u00e1vat\u201c, ale o spole\u010dn\u00e9m r\u016fstu, zrcadlen\u00ed a otev\u00edr\u00e1n\u00ed srdce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kdy\u017e si dovol\u00edme vid\u011bt vlastn\u00ed nev\u011bdom\u00e9 chyby, p\u0159estaneme vinit partnera. Vztah se st\u00e1v\u00e1 chr\u00e1mem, kde se u\u010d\u00edme l\u00e1sce \u2013 k sob\u011b i k druh\u00e9mu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Z\u00e1kladem ka\u017ed\u00e9ho dobr\u00e9ho vztahu je dobr\u00fd vztah k sob\u011b, to v\u0161ak vy\u017eaduje odvahu d\u00edvat se do vlastn\u00edho nitra, m\u00edt dostatek sebereflexe a vydat se na dobrodru\u017enou cestu sebepozn\u00e1n\u00ed – sv\u00e9ho t\u011bla, sv\u00e9ho srdce, charakteru a sv\u00e9 du\u0161e. Lid\u00e9 se v\u0161ak boj\u00ed toho co maj\u00ed uvnit\u0159 a p\u0159itom je to jedin\u00e9 m\u00edsto, kde najdou \u00fapln\u011b v\u0161echno…<\/p>\n\n\n\n M\u00e1te chu\u0165 tento prostor uvnit\u0159 prozkoumat? Napi\u0161te mi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n S l\u00e1skou <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Pro\u010d intimn\u00ed vztahy selh\u00e1vaj\u00ed a jak je nev\u011bdom\u011b sabotujeme, to jsou zcela nej\u010dast\u011bj\u0161\u00ed ot\u00e1zky, kter\u00e9 s p\u00e1ry \u0159e\u0161\u00edm b\u011bhem p\u00e1rov\u00fdch terapi\u00ed, ale i zcela b\u011b\u017en\u011b mezi m\u00fdmi p\u0159\u00e1teli a zn\u00e1m\u00fdmi. A tak se dnes relativn\u011b ve zkratce pod\u00edv\u00e1me na to s \u010d\u00edm se nej\u010dast\u011bji setk\u00e1v\u00e1m ve sv\u00e9 praxi, t\u0159eba se v tom najdete a pom\u016f\u017ee […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":740,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-739","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-zdarma","pmpro-has-access"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/739","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=739"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/739\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":741,"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/739\/revisions\/741"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/740"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tantrahealing.cz\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
2. Nev\u011bdom\u00e1 o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed \u2013 ka\u017ed\u00fd z n\u00e1s si do vztahu p\u0159in\u00e1\u0161\u00ed sv\u00e9 sny, ide\u00e1ly i rodinn\u00e9 otisky. Partner pak \u010dasto nenapl\u0148uje na\u0161e vnit\u0159n\u00ed \u201esc\u00e9n\u00e1\u0159e\u201c, co\u017e vede k frustraci.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Michaela<\/p>\n\n\n\n